Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Haiku Monday Announcement

It's Wednesday night in Ocala - and I have just had a looooong day driving and thinking about this title that I have to honor one of you with!  Truly, there are so many amazing poems this week, I knew from the start that it was going to be a difficult decision.  Everyone, RIGHT NOW.....take your hand and place it on your back and give yourself a hearty pat pat.  Well done, well done!

Originally I was going to title this post:  Charlie used a Bat to hit the Mouse.  Charlie, Bat, and Mouse.  These are the subjects of the haiku that I have placed in my top three.  I had to narrow the consideration set after all.

Susan, who is a new player, posted a haiku that really got under my skin.  I just kept mulling over it...over and over in my mind.  Here it is:

In-country patrol
Dumbass broke light discipline
Charlie owns the night

I was drawn to this one for a few's very dark and scary, and also it conjured up some memories I had of my Dad who served two tours in Vietnam when I was a kid.  I remember him telling a story about one night when he was new in country and had to do a night patrol with one of the local good guys.  The good guy looks over at my Dad, sweeps his arm out in front of him and points into the blackness of the night and says, "Beaucoup V.C."  Beaucoup, or "boo-coo" means MANY in French.   Vietnam was subject to French colonial rule at one point and their language contains some French influence.  V.C. is a shortened reference to the Viet Cong.  To hear Dad tell it gives you beaucoup goosebumps.  Anyway, I had to research Susan's references a little bit to fully get the nuances here, but basically what I think we are to learn is that when you're out at night doing patrol in hostile enemy territory, you don't give yourself away by lighting a ciggy or turning on a flashlight.  Nice job Susan...I hope you play again because you got some talent!

Moving on to the bat.  Moi shows up on Monday with this great one:

Caught out at dusk?  Duck!
Echolocating Pallids
pluck insects to death.

What I really liked about this haiku is that it reveals something that most of us are familiar with or have experienced - kamikaze bats.  Duck!  Moi's poem is one of two (Troll had the first) that contains the juicy word - echolocating.  Moi went visuals up with a phenomenal photo of a bat flying off with a creepy crawler. 

Now we come to the mouse.   Chickory served up this clever haiku:

By moonlight she flies
her silent shadow preys; strike!
frosted field mouse treat

I can see it in my mind.  The word "frosted" makes me think Fall or Winter, and when I read the poem, I literally can see myself standing in the moonlight, I can see my own breath in the cold air, and I am watching this BIG, SCARY, STEALTHY owl flying down in slow motion, grabbing a frightened little field mouse with her talons, snatching it up, and carrying it away with her off into the darkness.  Can't you just see that little mouse trying to wriggle its way free?  WHACK....and then he's gone. 

This week's winner not only wrote us a lovely haiku, but her carefully chosen words gave me, your host and judge, the perfect little movie to watch in my mind.  Chickory wins!


  1. Nice job Chickory! You can create art with words, too.

    Excellent explanation Scout. You had a tough field to work with. Seems that in the end yo have to go with the one that speaks to you a special way.


  2. Thanks Serendipity ! Your grizzly bear poem ignighted a lively discussion at home last night between me and SMG husband - enjoyed your submissions very much!!

  3. no way! I warned you...grrrrherhahhaha. WOW I am honored. and you did a spectacular job with hosting - I loved the care you put into visiting each blog and commenting. you are such a wonderful addition to our haiku ring. Thank you and to all the other poets too.

  4. Great week, great hosting, and I don't think a single Monday goes by that Chickory couldn't walk away with it.

  5. Thanks Czar! I have a whole new appreciation is not easy!!!! But fun!!!

  6. Congrats Chickory! Absolutely no visuals needed with that haiku. Perfect image in my mind's eye. Meanwhile, can I give a shout to Buzzy for the one that made me laugh out loud?

  7. Ha! The silent snatch takes the prize!
    Fantastic hosting Scout--thanky.

    Congratulations Chick9, way to

    Aunty---unsigned in.

  8. Congratulations Chickory...your haiku was fabulous! You are definetly talented.
    Scout, you were a great host and I loved the explanation you gave.
    Congrats to all the other players too! :)

  9. Congrats Chick-Chick! Both your haiku were beautiful and evocative. Scout, thanks for a great hosting job and for keeping your wits about you in choosing a winner :o) It was a field loaded with some very fine writing, and it was wonderful to see new participants!

  10. Congrats to Chickory! Good hosting Scout!

  11. Congrats Chickory! =)
    Scout, I did NOT envy you this week! lol
    There were sooooooooo many incredible Haiku this week!
    However, you did a fantastic job of hosting and judging.

  12. Oh good job!
    Scout you not only swooped in last week with the winning haiku,
    you are one savvy judge! All of your top choices pull the readers
    into THE experience. Into THE moment. This was a tough judge duty considering how many really good haikus were submitted this week ... including some from your Dad! Just wow!

    Lots of good things to say about your haikus this week ... I agree with whomever identified you as a "haiku artist"; there was imagery without the visual. Fine job.

  13. Chicky had me at "her silent shadow preys". Nice job.

    @Pam - I experienced other emotions while writing that haiku...and they weren't pleasant.



    I just knew it would be Chickory (or Moi)...both were just fantabulous. I also really liked Aunties, as she always brings a sense of the spirit and peace to her words that moves me.

    You, Scout, have a beautiful presence about yourself that shines right through in your writing. THANK YOU for sharing it!


  15. Scout,

    Thanks and I will try to keep playing. I used to blog a lot (which is why I know some of these folks) but I got busy and I haven't gotten back to it in full swing. But writing haikus is really fun.

    You understood the poem perfectly. I was thinking of the scene in Tigerland when one guy lights up a cigarette and the sergeant says: You broke light discipline. You're dead. When the soldier protested, the sergeant told him an ugly story about a friend of his who got shot for precisely the same thing. Vietnam is a really good war to think about when it comes to the fragility of life. As one sergeant said in Tigerland: You go from living to dead pretty quick.

    I hope your dad knows that this American girl here is very grateful for his service to our country.

  16. yay to Chickory and to doing such a great job with hosting. It ain't easy. :-) I loved Chickie's too.

  17. Good evening Scout,

    Thanks for hosting, a fine effort.

    Congratulations Chickory! Frosted mouse soon to be a new treat from Purina, Owl Chow.

  18. Scout,

    Was this what you were imagining with Chickory's haiku? This is really cool.


  19. Serendipity, that is amazing!! I love how the feathers fluff out when he puts on the brakes...and those talons are WOW!!!! Nice looking out for a great visual!!